What is the Role of Friendship?

The conversation between Job and his friends continues in chapters 17 through 20, and I can’t help but think about what friendship is supposed to look like. What role should friends play in our lives, and how can a healthy friendship function?

Friendship, at its best, seems to be about mutual affection, support, loyalty, and shared experiences. It’s not just about having someone to celebrate the good times with but also about having someone who’s there to walk with you through the difficult moments. If there’s one thing the past few years have taught us, it’s how much we need connection to thrive. Isolation—whether physical or emotional—can take a toll on our mental and physical health.

When Friends Fall Short

But what happens when friends don’t show up in the way we need them to? Job’s friends are a good case study in this. Instead of supporting him or offering encouragement, they seem focused on pointing out what they think he did wrong. There’s no warmth or understanding in their words—just a barrage of assumptions and accusations.

This raises a tough question: What’s the balance between being honest with a friend and being supportive? Personally, I’m not a fan of sugarcoating. If something needs to be said, it should be said. But there’s a way to speak truth that also uplifts or shows care. Criticism without compassion isn’t really helpful—it’s just harsh.

Speaking Encouragement in Truth

So, what does “speaking encouragement in truth” look like? Maybe it’s about timing, tone, and intent. Are we speaking because we want to help or because we want to feel righteous? Are we focused on the person’s well-being, or are we trying to prove a point? Job’s friends seem more interested in justifying their own views of how the world works than in truly being there for him.

Questions to Reflect On

These chapters leave me wondering: How do we become the kind of friends who bring out the best in others, especially when they’re at their worst? How can we show up in ways that are honest but also kind? And perhaps most importantly, how do we learn to recognize when we’re not being the kind of friends we’d want in our own lives?